WHEN SHALL I MEET MY GURU ?

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Friends,

Today I have come before you with a question that baffled my mind ever since my so called spiritual inquiry began! I am not a very religious person though I love mythology and don’t mind observing ritualistic worship. I have always believed in a higher guiding and protecting force that operates our life from every possible level. But I was neither satisfied with the names and attributes given to that Supreme Power as mentioned in the stotras nor by the concept that this human life is only to accumulate punya and get rid of papa. I sought for further help and guidance as to understand ‘why I was born’, ‘what is the purpose or mission of my life’, ‘who am I really’ so on and so forth! I was either silenced and turned away or branded a religious rebel; but never got a satisfying answer.

              My curiosity, doubts and queries became introverted. Due to the demands of daily life it lay within smouldering like live charcoal. Whenever I read or heard about Gurus from books, media or the direct experiences of their Sishyas, I started longing for a Sadguru for myself – a guru to unravel the mysteries of life; a guru who would always stay beside me as I walk the path of trifle and tribulations; a guru who would answer and explain all my questions; a guru who would help me identify and discriminate dharma from adharma; a guru who would help me in the balancing act of Karma and take me towards NAISHKARMA STITHI.

             But I didn’t know where to begin my search though the intensity of my longing was sincere and severe. I started reading more and more books about the experiences narrated by various sishyas and some of them had also risen to the role of a guru to lead mankind to Self-Realisation. I showed greater interest in meeting the Gurus who were actively guiding my siblings and my friends. Somehow the mental agitation, anxiety and discomfort never subsided. The heart, mind and intellect never concurred i.e. the emotions of the heart, the thoughts generated by the mind and the discretion power of the intellect never matched with each other and on the whole I always remained clueless regarding my guru!

         At about this time I heard in a Bhagavad Gita discourse that:

                    A disciple need not go in search of a guru. If the sishya’s yearning is sincere and intense then the Guru himself will appear!

         Even Mata Kamalambika  states that one’s karma has to fructify in order to meet Her or even step into the Peetam. The 12th sookthi states “Karmanubhavamu tappadhu! Guru krupe charanyamu!” Though this idea of ‘Right time’ and ‘Karma fructification’ slightly disheartened me it definitely put me in the path of introspection and positive thinking. Eventually I started realising that everything, person and opportunity acted as a spiritual resource and patiently started waiting for the day when my Guru would appear before me! Secretly within my heart I would pray, lament cry and ask,

       “WHEN WILL YOU COME GURUJI? WHEN SHALL MEET YOU?’’

          In the Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahamsa Yogananda describes the various types of gurus, his experiences with them and how his own guru mercifully forgave Yogananda and showered his unconditional love and made him realise his life’s mission. Swami Rama’s biography- “Living with the Himalayan Masters”, Swami Vivekananda’s-“My Master as I know him” also ascertain that a Sadguru is an ocean of mercy and compassion.

          As this external search went on there was a simultaneous introspection and intense devotion developing from within. My own definition, description and qualification of a Guru started falling apart. The mind dropped its thoughts and the acquired ideas; the heart stopped its binding emotions and the intellect stopped its reasoning nature in this spiritual quest. Suddenly like a ray in the dark, rain on a parched land I found a stark reality-a bare truth staring at me! Yes, my Guru was right in front of me.

             My guru was intensely gazing at me full of love. I realised that my was always there to show my TRUE NATURE-the nature of the Self and it was my preconceived notion, lack of understanding and ignorance that made me run here and there in search of something that was already existing right in front of me. Once I picked up the lost threads my picture became clear. My doubts vanished and there was only clarity. I started realising that clarity of thoughts makes the mind pure. The two important tools in the spiritual path are clarity of thoughts and purity of mind. It keeps us firmly connected to our Guru. Otherwise our confused mind will easily get tormented and tossed in this ocean of worldly life. When we hold on to our Guru, we are completely taken care of. The sadguru leads our path by becoming the captain of our ship and teaches us how to handle life as a precious gift from the Lord. Our merciful mother, Kamalambika says, “Nannu nammu; Ninnu ekkadiki cherchalo naaku telusu.”

            Once this awareness is triggered we become alert and agile, we are available to the inner Self and to the external world with equal efficiency and ease thereby maintaining a complete balance. We recognise the spiritual potential of every resource around us be it a plant or bird; stone or water; child or adult; sane or insane; king or pauper….We realise that our guru is constantly guiding, protecting, leading and communicating to us through all these things around us. I started realising that the words I hear, the scenes I see, the fragrance which I smell, the tastes and the touches are all tools through which my guru constantly gives the required input and refines me so that I progress towards Divinity in every awakened moment of my life.

           I understood that this what Mata Kamalambika says in Her sookthi

        “ Guru Darshaname Sarva Devatha Sandarshanamu “

The answer to my search slowly dawned and I woke up to the truth that

        Guru Darshanam can’t be obtained by physical organs of vision since they can only show us the material world.

        Guru Darshanam can’t be made through the mind since it imposes its moods and colours.

        Guru Darshanam can’t be made through the intellect since it always seeks rationale and logic behind everything.

Guru Darshanam will happen only when all these anthakaranas drop and there is a complete surrender. One has to move beyond faith, devotion and acceptance and act in the next plane of Jnana and implementation of the truth principles. The Guru truly descends into our life and helps us in our spiritual elevation, shows the TRUE NATURE OF THE SELF only when we are ready to move beyond rituals, is committed to live life meaningfully and perform every act with complete awareness!

              UPASANA KANNA JNANAM MINNA

              JNANAM KANNA ACHARANA MINNA    (Sookthi 5)

says our Pujya Parama Guru Kamalambika!

JAI SREE MATA…